


far from home

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Asexual Character, Blood, h/c
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-14 20:54:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7189823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scattered after the end of season one. Pidge finds himself alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Pidge identifies as biologically female but prefers/is used to/likes male pronouns. (Meant to be a oneshot. There may or may not be another chapter.)

Pidge’s vision slowly came back into focus, he was vaguely aware of a red flashing light and something warm dripping down his forehead. The last thing he remembered was them jumping to warp and the wormhole becoming unstable.

“Guys?” he tired voice rough.

Pressure on his chest make itself known as he tried to move. The pressure was explained when he realized Green Lion was on its side. He was still strapped into the pilot's chair.

Unbuckling himself was harder than it should have been with all his weight leaning into the harness. The moment the bucket released he very graciously found himself falling out of his seat and into the right wall of the cockpit. With a thud he met the wall the sound echoing in the small space and pain shot over his body.

“Ouch.” sprawled out on the uneven surface he got a better look at the cockpit, it looked fine except for it all being sideways.

“Guys? Pidge calling. Can anyone hear me?” the com give no response. “Well. That’s not good.” He sighed and pulled himself up. Everything felt mostly not broken with the exception of the blood trailing down his face. It was coming from somewhere on his head. It wasn’t much blood so in theory it couldn’t be that bad.

Climbing up into the pilot’s seat was not easy as short as he was. The angle was all wrong but his small size did make fitting in it at the sideways angle easier. 

The console thankfully came to life when he touched it, flashing lights turned off he ran a damage report. The damage to Lion wasn’t as bad as he’d feared. Only one piston malfunction in the left rear leg from impact. The blinking lights were from him blacking out and Lion going into freefall.

Bringing Lion fully back online was easy enough. The monitor in front of him came to life, a gray blue desert landscape greeted him as far as the eye could see.

“Not in Kansas anymore.” Readouts on screen detected no air outside and a larger planet near by. “I’m on a moon.”

Lion couldn’t pinpoint their location. When the wormhole became unstable, it could have thrown Pidge out anywhere in the known or unknown universe! Lions star charts were good but limited to ten thousand years ago. He needed his laptop.

He found it still safely stored in his bag, pulling it out he hooked it up to Lion and climbed down, leaning back against the cool wall he sighed a little heavier than intended.

Okay maybe he was a little more messed up than he thought. And all that moving around had got his head bleeding again. Great. Removing his helmet Pidge wiped the blood away from his brow with the back of his hand. His glasses were still in his front pocket there he’d left them. A little twisted but otherwise unharmed.

Accessing star charts in a matter of minutes Pidge knew where he was. The problem was where he was was on the other side of the universe. Even with Lions advanced speed it would take months to get back.

Not that he knew where to get back to. He had no idea where the castle or his teammates had ended up. They hadn’t even set up a rendezvous point. None of them had thought to set up an ‘Incase of wormhole malfunction and we all get thrown to the ends of the galaxy let meet just at X planet.’.

“Damn.”

He needed to find the others. Sending out a distress signal would alert everyone, friend or foe of his location. Scanning for the signature of the other lions could work but the range was small and boosting the signal strength made him a sitting duck.

The chances that anyone had fallen out of the wormhole near Pidge was next to nothing. It was impossible. Pidge set his laptop to scan the area anyway and went to see if he could find the medkit that was on board.

Stumbling over the wall, now floor, he found the hatch that held the medkit, above his head. Of course it was out of reach.

Being the genius he is, he crawled back to grab his helmet and threw it at the hatch. After one failed throw the second hit the hatch popping it open, at that exact moment his laptop beeped, distracted by the laptop the medkit hit Pidge square on the face. He ended up on heap on the floor, helmet, and medkit jabbing into him. 

Throwing his helmet in the direction of his laptop he grabbed the medkit and slid over to his laptop.

“No way!” He couldn’t believe it! The probability of two of them ending up in the same place was impossible! The signal was weak and didn’t indicate who it was but they were near.

Bandaging his head quickly the best he could he climbed back into the pilot’s chair. He’d have a better chance of pinpointing the location of the other lion outside of the small moons gravity field. With the piston on the right rear leg shot, three legs would do to get back into space, he’d be useless in ground combat but for now it worked.

Flying away from the small blue gray moon, the planet it orbited came into view. Covered in dense clouds it was white and gray like it’s moon. The galaxy it orbited in had a dwarf star, giving little warmth in its old age.

Scanning again, his onscreen display blinked showing the Lions signal was coming from the planet. The signal was still weak no doubt from the thick cloud cover. Flying closer the onscreen display guided him in the right direction.

The planet was even more white and gray as he got closer, nothing but jagged rock faces and ice pillars sticking out in all directions. Sensors indicated the planet was made of mostly sea that was iced over. Pidge just hopped who ever it was that crashed here hadn’t broken through to the sea below.

“There it is!” Pidge leaned forward in his seat, like it would give him a closer view, Lions on screen display zoomed in for him. It was the Black Lion! “Shiro!”

The Black Lion lay in a crater of ice and rock. No movement detected. As he got closer Pidge could see the left side of its cockpit had been sheared away and what looked like a body hung limp from it.

“Oh god.”

Panicked Pidge almost landed in the crater but pulled back as the sensors on board warned him of the weak ice and ground below. Landing quickly outside the impact site Pidge grabbed his helmet and run for the airlock door. The cold air outside hit him like a brick wall, knocking the air out of his lungs. The visor on his helmet quickly slid down into place, but the chill stayed.

Running to the craters edge Pidge jumped jetpack taking over, he flew fast as he could. “Shiro? Can you hear me? Come in?!”

There was no response.

Landing on what was left of the cockpit Pidge was stopped in his tracks.

Shiro hung motionless from his metal arm, a piece of twisted metal sticking through its wrist. There was no signs of life.

Pidge steeled himself for whatever the outcome. Dead or alive Pidge had to get Shiro down from there. The steep angle gave Pidge no real footing to work on getting Shiro’s arm free. Carefully as he could he flew down to Shiro, bracing one leg on some twisted metal and the other on the deck which gave little footing.

“Shiro? Can you hear me? I’m going to get you out of here.”

Hooking one arm around Shiro, Pidge set his jetpack to full and tried to lift off. Shiro bust to life screaming in pain. Scaring the shit out of Pidge, he flailed away losing his balance and tipped back, stopping only by Shiro grabbing his arm.

“Pidge? Are you okay?” Shiro asked in a labored breath, his eyes were glassy but fixed on Pidge. Fearless ass leading caring about everyone but himself.

“Am I okay??!?! What the hell! You scared the crap out of me?! I thought you were dead” Pidge was all but yelling, face colored with anger and relief. 

Shiro let out a low laugh. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Shiro pulled Pidge closer until he had his footing again. “I must have blacked out again. I think I busted a few ribs, among other things.” he coughed, Pidge could see blood in his mouth.

“Come on we need to get you out of here.” Pidge went to grab Shiro again. Their faces close. Shiro wrapped his working arm around Pidge.

“That’s a good idea. I couldn’t get free on my own, maybe with both our jetpacks it will be enough to pull my arm free.” Shiro’s tightened his arm on Pidge. “On your mark.”

“On three. Okay?” Shiro nodded. “One, two, three!” Both packs ignited at once, pulling up, Shiro cried out in pain again.

“Stop! Stop-”

Touching down Pidge scrambled for footing and Shiro falling back to hang on his arm again which ripped another cry from him.

“It’s no use.” He spoke through gritted teeth. “Time for plan B.” Shiro’s eyes locked in on Pidge again. “Cut off my arm.”

“WHAT?! I’m not-I can just cut away the part you’re stuck on!”

“I thought that too, I don’t know if I’ll be able to take the weight of the arm and the metal lodged in it on my ribs again. That’s how I passed out the first time.”

“I’ll take the arm off? I shouldn’t take to long to unhook it from you!” He’d never worked with prosthetics before but it couldn’t be that hard could it? Pidge noticed then the blood trailing down the side of Shiro’s mouth, and how he was shaking from the cold. “Okay.” he took a deep breath, “One less arm coming up. Where do you want me to cut?” Pidge grabbed his Bayard and planted his feet more firmly on the steep slope. 

“Just above the elbow, I think. Any higher and you’ll hit nerves.” Shiro planted his free hand against the deck to lean his head away from where Pidge needed to cut.

Pidge activated his Bayard and got in place. “Ready?” 

Shiro nodded, making eye contact before looking down.

Pidge didn’t know what he expected but it wasn’t for his bayard to stop when it made contact and it to shoot sparks and light everywhere wasn’t one of them. He could hear Shiro shout over it for him to continue. Pushing with all his might the blade slowing melted through the arm

“It’s almost through!! Get ready to fly!”

The moment the blade went through Pidge toppled forward and Shiro fell into him, they both slide down the deck, luckily there was just enough of the hall left to catch them near the bottom where the airlock used to be.

Shiro was crumpled up, head resting on Pidge’s shoulder. Pidge could hear his labored breath so he was still alive.

“Are you okay? Can you get up? We need to get you out of here.” Pidge’s heart was racing for many reasons.

When Shiro lifted his face there was red on his visor. “Yeah.”

Both arms around Shiro, Pidge lifted off slowly as possible looking for signs of pain in Shiro. Once they were clear of the wreckage, Shiro activated his jetpack. By the look of him Pidge wasn’t sure Shiro wouldn't pass out mid flight so he stayed in arms length in case he had to do an air rescue.

They made it to the Green Lion without incident. Landing Shiro almost fell over, but Pidge was there to help steady the big guy. 

“I got you.”

Inside Green Lion the airlock shut behind them. Shiro leaned against the wall, where he slowly eased himself down to a sitting position. Pidge run for the medkit while Shiro tried to remove his helmet, easier said than done one handed. By the time Pidge came dashing back Shiro had managed to free himself from it and was suddenly realizing how exhausted he was.

“Don’t pass out on me.” Pidge opened the medkit and made a face “I hope you paid more attention to the alien medicine 101 lecture than I did.”

Shiro chuckled at that which hurt. “I need something for the pain, it’s the vile with the blue strip on it.” Pidge fumbled with the vile a bit before he figure out the right way to put it in the applicator gun. Shiro pointed to the side of it. “This much. If I have to much I won’t feel it and hurt myself accidentally.” he pointed to his neck than. “Right here. Press down and pull the trigger.”

Pidge did as he was told. Pressing with looked like a gun to Shiro’s neck made Pidge’s stomach turn. When he pulled the trigger the shot instantly relaxed Shiro’s body, the line of pain across his face fading. The blood on his lips worried Pidge. But he was breathing had already become less labored since coming in.

Pidge let out a big sigh. “That was fun.” His hands were shaking on the gun. He put it down.

“Yeah. Let’s not have anymore fun today.” Shiro let out a small huf best he could manage for a laugh.

Pidge moved to lean against the same wall, Shiro’s eyes followed him. He studied him for a moment how his hands had shook around the medgun. Now with his helmet off Shiro noticed the bandaged around Pidge’s head.

“What happened to your head?”

“Oh. My head had an intimate encounter with the control console. My head won, left a nice dent in it.” Pidge touched the bandage, his hand came away with a little new blood. “Still bleeding. It doesn’t hurt like it used to. I think that’s a good sign.”

“That’s a bad sign.” Shiro sighed “Come here let me see it.”

Pidge made a huff but scooted over so Shiro could get to the injured side. Pidge slid his glasses off and everything went blurry. 

Shiro was careful pulling the bandage off. It wasn’t that much new blood but it was bleeding. Bandage discarded on the floor, Shiro carefully parted Pidge’s hair looking for a cut or bump. He found a small cut near Pidge’s hair line, it wasn’t much to look at but it could mean more depending how hard to hit had been.

“The cuts not too deep. Hand me the med gel? It’s the white tube.”

Pidge did but had to squint to make out the shapes better.

Gel in hand, Shiro very skillfully for someone with one arm pressed some onto Pidge’s scalp and handed the bottle back to Pidge. He spread the gel out to cover the cut. It didn’t hurt. Just felt cool on Pidge’s skin. Then with Shiro helped (he held one finger on the bandage) Pidge wrapped a clean bandage around his head.

“Thanks. What do you say doc, will I live?” Pidge cocked his head, to match his mocking tone.

“Could be a concussion. I wouldn’t advise sleep or to be left alone incase something does go wrong.” Shiro’s tone was serious.

“Well. No rest for the weary than?” he rubbed his eyes before slipping his glasses back on, and rejoining Shiro where he leaned against the wall.

“Not a chance.” Shiro tilted his head to face Pidge and smiled. Pidge returned the smile and his cheeks colored slightly under Shiro’s stare.

As far as being lost on the other side of the universe goes, Pidge couldn’t think of anyone he’d rather be lost with.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title: Lessions In Waiting Around and Doing Nothing Because You Have a Head Injury

When the promise of sleep was taken off the table time suddenly started to drag on forever. Which was a good and a bad thing. Good because it gave Pidge more time to run the probabilities of finding the others on his laptop; which weren’t good. And bad because with every moment Shiro was looking more pale; also not good.

Beyond pain killers, the medkit was all but useless for internal injuries. They needed to go. Shiro didn’t like the idea of leaving the Black Lion there but they didn’t have much of a choice. Weather Shiro liked it or not they needed to find a populated planet and get him medical help.

“I’m a fugitive remember?” Shiro had said, his voice soft and devoid of anything but exhaustion.

“They couldn’t possibly have a warrant out for you everywhere.” Pidge narrowed his eyes, this guy had such a big head sometimes. Really. He thinks the whole universe is out to get him.

“True. But do we really want to take that chance?”

Shiro did have a point but if it comes down to him dying or being captured… “You’d rather die?” Pidge was quite, his hands stopped where they were typing at the laptop.

“Who said I’m dying? I’ve been in worst shape and pulled through.” (Not that I can remember them…) He paused than to steady his breathing “I know you’re worried but we have to find the others. They could be in trouble.” Shiro gave Pidge a reassuring smile. Which wasn’t reassuring for either of them.

Pidge had run all the numbers, gone through every option. Their best bet would be to head for the planet they met Allura and Coran on, in the hope the others might have had the same idea.

They were looking at weeks if not months to get there.

About half an hour ago Pidge had opened every hatch in the place looking for any kind of blanket or cushion for Shiro to lean on, he found one emergency bed roll and a thermal blanket. Shiro was upset about moving but happy to accept the new soft spot to sit. After tucking the blanket around Shiro’s waist being careful with what was left of his metal arm, Pidge wiped Shiro’s damp bangs off his forehead and had to fight the urge to plant a kiss there like his mother would do when he was little.

Shiro thanked him in a soft voice his eyes trained on Pidge like he knew what Pidge had stopped himself from doing.

“There don’t die, okay.” Pidge patted Shiro lamely on the shoulder maybe a bit to hard, before retreating.

The supplies on board were remarkably sparse. Basic tools for in a pinch minor repair. The aforementioned bed roll and blanket. Some drinking water and emergency rations which if Pidge could read the label probably dated it a few thousand years expired. That is if magic space rations inside a robot lion go bad. Your guess was as good as his. He also found a spare space suit. Which could come in handy.

Hand on his chin. Pidge pondered their food situation. The rations good or bad, were food, but not enough to get them clear across the universe alive. There was a possibility they could come across a planet with something suitable to eat but Pidge wasn’t sure how they’d store whatever they found.

Pidge looked out the window at the cold planet outside, it was beautiful. Black Lion caught his eye dark against the bright landscape, a sad sight, it lay broken and motionless. 

“It’s been-” Pidge looked over at his computer “almost two hours. Is it safe to say I’m not going to keel over from this we-don’t-even-know-if-it-is-concussion?”

“What?” Shiro he been poking at what was left of his prosthetic in an attempt to remove the melted part still attached. “It’s hard to say without a brain scan.”

“Yes or no answers.” 

“Why?” Shiro sighed “Are you going to do something stupid?” Pidge had been itching to get off the planet for what felt like hours but Shiro thought it best they sit it out for a moment to see if Pidge was going to black out while piloting or not. Pidge on the other hand wanted to leave before if/or when his head decided it wanted him dead. Shiro won that argument. 

Pidge let out a low laugh, “No.” than made a face “Okay a bit. But I’ll be careful.”

“Pidge.” Shiro warned. Wanting him to get to the point.

“We’re low on supplies. Like dead in a few weeks low.” Pidge stressed this with a hand motion ”I was going to pop back over the Black Lion and see if any of the supplies on it made it through in one piece. There and back easy peasy.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Pidge raised an eyebrow. That was easy. Maybe it was Shiro who had a few brain cells knocked out of him.

“It’s a good idea and I’m in no condition to help let along move.” Shiro picked up Pidges helmet that lay near him and tossed it to Pidge who caught it easily. “Stay in contact with me over the com. If anything goes wrong-”

“What are you going to do if something does go wrong? You said it yourself you can’t move.”

“Maybe I want to listen to you die.” Shiro dead panned.

Pidge’s jaw dropped. “Rude. I think you’ve had enough pain killers for a while.”

Shiro laughed the movement caused pain to gripped his chest. He turned to pick up his helmet beside him, in the hopes it hide the pain playing across his face. Setting it on his lap, he took a shaky breath. “Ready when you are.”

Helmet on Pidge walked to the air lock. Hand on the controls he stopped to look back on Shiro, before opening it and going through. 

Wised up a bit this time Pidge had put down his visor all the way before he’d ventured out onto the frozen planet. It was so quiet out there but for the sound of wind softly blowing and snow crunching under foot.

He made his way to the craters edge once again. It was much bigger than he remembered. Not that he’d had time for sightseeing the first time around, his chest was tight with fear at finding Shrio dead. Pidge took a deep breath. 

It was eerie seeing part of Voltron lay in ruin, snow blown by the wind slowly collecting on it. Volton was suppose to be the answer, to save them, the universe. They were suppose to save the universe.

A lot of good they were doing. A wormhole and the lack of drinking water was going to take them down.

“This your idea of keeping in contact? Or have you died already?” Shiro’s voice came in over the com making Pidge jump and almost fall on the smooth ground.

“SHIRO!” Pidge swung around facing Green Lion to shout at it like Shiro could see him. “I am conducting a EVO on an alien planet we know very little about, where an impact has taken place on possibly unstable ground! Don’t do that!”

“What talk?” Shiro tired to be snarky but his heart wasn’t in it. “Sorry. This is as much for you and it is for me.”

Pidge knew what he meant. Shiro didn’t want to fall asleep in the condition he was in. Chances are nothing would happen but if Shiro’s condition worsen while he slept he’d be unaware and in more danger. 

Pidge sighed and looked back at the crater and took flight towards the Black Lion. 

“Nice crash by the way.” Pidge cringed unable to stop the words from coming out of his mouth. “Is this something you do often?; find yourself crashing on alien planets? Cause this is the second time. I know of.” He slapped himself on the helmet. Good job idiot, keep talking about how much of a mess Shiro, it's not like he’s seriously injured or anything. 

“You’d be surprised.” Shiro’s reply was quiet but only from exhaustion. Pidge might have been imagining it but it sounded like it was said with a smile, relief on Pidge and the foot in mouth situation he was having. “Kerberos was a bit of a rocky landing, but I won’t take all the credit for that.”

“What happened?” Pidge landed on what was left of Black Lions cockpit. “I don’t remember hearing about that? I read everything about the Kerberos mission.” Public or not.

Making his way to some of the intact storage. Pidge heard a little scoffing sound over the com.

“It was a minor thing. Shouldn’t have caused a problem in the slighted but let me tell you; having two engineers/scientist talking at once while you try to recover from a handing malfunction has the outcome you’d expect.”

“What!? My dad and brother would never do that!”

His father was the top in his class, with all the honors and stars to go with it. And her brother was a prodigy like she was. Soon to follow... before all this happened. Pidge stopped hatched open, noise around him fading suddenly. It had been so long. So much had changed.

Shiro laughed, “Really? We must be talking about different people than. Because the two I knew were a pain in the ass.” A moment of silence dragged on with no response. He was an idiot why did he think talking about her brother and father would be a good idea. Shiro started to ask if Pidge was okay but was cut off.

“There’s nothing here. A handful of food bars, but nothing else.” Pidge’s voice was flat in response, not wanting to talk about what Shiro had stepped in. Pidge shoved the food bars into his bag, giving the mess another look around.

“No parts worth bringing with us?” Shiro asked trying to keep his voice as normal as he could.

“Nothing we could move without equipment.” Pidge gave the Lion a kick and was about to head back when he spotted something. “There’s something in the crater.”

Taking flight again he got closer “It looks like a bag.”

Landing he grabbed it. The bag had some clothes and assorted items in it. “Dude is this your gym bag?”

“Pidge. If there isn’t anything else out there head back. We need to get off this rock.” Shiro had managed to remain mostly calm with Pidge outside on the planet alone but something about him entering the crater had spiked Shiro’s heart rate.

Pidge sighed. Looking up at what was left of the Black Lion. Wrapping his arms around Shiro’s bag he sat down on a large piece of broken ice. Shiro started to get worried as silence stretched on for a second.

“You know. I really started to believe it.” Looking at Black Lion again, Pidge could feel his eyes go misty. “That we, the Lions were meant to save the universe, that we were chosen to do this. That we could win.”

“We not dead yet, Pidge. We can still do this. We’ll find Keith, Lance, Hunk, Allura and Coran. Black Lion will fly again. We’re down but we’re not out.”

“Yeah? But what if we do die, what if I die? Trying to accomplish this impossible, stupid thing. What will it be for? I’ll be dead having wasted all this time and never looked for my father and brother?” Tears rolled down his face, unable to wipe them away. “I made a promise, Shiro.”

“You haven’t broken your promise. We’ll find them Pidge. Together. I promise.” The sincerity in Shiro’s voice was painful.

Pidge laughed. “Says the guy doing a very convincing act of someone dying.”

“Took drama in high school.”

“No you didn’t.” Pidge laughed again, wanting to wipe his eyes.

“Yes. I did and I was horrible.”

“Okay I can believe that.” Shiro was many things but a great actor wasn’t one of them.

Shiro coughed before activating the com again “Come on let’s get off this iceberg. Everyones going to wonder what took us so long.”

“Yeah.” Gathering himself, Pidge got up, nose on the verge of running, eyes wet and red rimmed. He was a mess.

This whole vulnerable crying thing was not his style. He could count on one hand the times he’d cried in front of someone. And this was the second time he fell apart in front of Shiro. 

Pidge’s well built defences against the world were a joke when it came to Shiro. With that dumb smile, stupid eye lashes, and the way he cared too much about them, even though he himself was so guarded about letting people in.

It was insufferable.

It didn’t help that being around Shiro felt like home. Something Pidge hadn’t felt in too long. It wasn’t the exact same feeling, eerily different but familiar all the same. Like they’d known each other all their lives and nothing Pidge could say or do would stop Shiro from looking at him like he was amazing. Pidge really wished he’d stop. Now wasn’t a good time. Whatever this emotional bullshit was.

Bags in hand, on his way back to Green Lion Pidge’s on screen display alerted him that the temperature outside was dropping. He heard the ice beneath him creak and crack as he flew over it. Red text flashed on screen warning him of ice forming on the surface of his suit. In space you didn’t have this issue even with colder temperatures. Add water to the mix and things could get complicated.

“Oh gees! About to become a Pidgesicle!”

A complication Pidge barely avoided pushing his jetpack hard, he stumbled through the airlock, throwing the bags down. The ice covering his suit creaked and made that satisfying popping sound as he moved and it started to melt in the warmer temperature inside.

He laughed “Did you see that?” Looking over Pidge’s heart jumped, Shiro lay motionless, his head hanging low. “No! No. No no no!” This wasn’t happening.

“You idiot, you’re supposed to stay awake!” Scrambling over Pidge almost forgot to remove his gloves that could still be to cold from outside, struggling to get them off he bit the end of the glove with his teeth to get it off.

Tilting Shiro’s head gently up blood dripped from his mouth, Pidge almost pulled away at the sight.

“Shiro?!” nothing. “Can you hear me?! Time to wake up.” laying Shiro’s head back with care, Pidge pressed two fingers to his neck.

A pulse, slow but there.

“Fuck.” Pidge fell back in relief. Face in his hands he took a deep breath and wiped his face. “If you live, I swear I’m going to kill you for this.” That is if Shiro doesn’t give him a heart attack first.

After Pidge threw himself back on the floor in frustration over being helpless to help Shiro, he dragged his ass over and got his computer. Some tinkering later he’d overwritten the vitals display on his suit to show Shiro’s. What good it would do him, not a fucking bit. But would give Pidge ample time to yell at Shiro face to face as he croaked.

That done he needed to secure Shiro. Didn't need him sliding around in flight. (Why the hell didn't the Lions have other seating?) Pidge cut a shirt he found in Shiro’s bag into stripes and tyed them them into a long rope. He wrapped Shiro up in the thermal blanket and used the rope to secure him to the storage hatches on either side.

“There.” Pidge slipped Shiro’s helmet on him and stepped back to admire his handy work. “All safe. A nice Shiro burrito. A Shurito.” 

Pidge chuckled at his own pun. Unfortunately it really didn’t have the desired effect, his audience wasn’t exactly attentive at the moment. Where was Lance when Pidge needed him. 

Picking up and unceremoniously throwing all manner of things around the cockpit into whatever storage bins they fit in, it was time to go.

In the pilot's chair again, the controls came to life, it felt like years had passed since he woke up on that moon.

Looking down at his arm, he tapped it, Shiro’s vitals fading into view. Heartbeat and breathing were still the same. A small increase in temperature, from his new burrito form as to be expected.

Pidge watched the vitals readout until it faded away. Trying to calm and convince himself he’d done everything he could. That Shiro was going to be fine. They were going to be fine. That the tightness in his chest was just fear, not something much more terrifying.

When he looked up the cold planet outside greeted him one last time. Peaceful and unbothered by their struggle to survive. 

Pidge turned to look back at Shiro. Before taking a deep breath, moving Green Lion, easily shaking off the ice and snow it took off through the blue gray sky, leaving Black Lion behind.


	3. Chapter 3

Two hours since leaving the frozen planet behind, their trek across the vast span of lightyears between them and Arus had only just begun. Pidge had decided that space got real old real fast.

Travel was fast in the Lions. Almost absurdly fast. The ground it could cover in seconds was amazing and by Pidge’s calculations they could be back at Arus in under a month if they were lucky. Except that was with no stops and at full power, which wasn’t an option.

The Lions ran off crystals like the Castle but considerably smaller ones, the power it gave off was strange, in it was almost more like a person and less like a power source, only able to give full power to the Lions for a few hours before it had to recharge. No. That’s the wrong word. It was more like resting. The damn thing needed a nap.

Stopping for a “cat nap” as Pidge coined it wasn’t all bad, it gave him time to search for nearby life. The search range on the Lion was huge, but so was space. Like fucking huge. Which meant dropping in and out of warp to search and it sucked. Because where Pidge was able to use his computer routed through Lion to set up a program that would search automatically and alert him if it found anything. So far as Pidge could tell Lion didn’t have any such automatic programing for dropping in and out of warp every hour. Which meant he had to do it manually.

On his second jump now, Pidge was staring out the window at all of nothing, debating on whether he wanted to break into the Lions core programming and see if he could write a program to do jumps on it’s own. Okay. He knew he could write the program, that wasn’t the problem; the problem was the code would be in Alltaen. He didn’t even remember the three years of Chinese he took, and the idea of learning a new language right now had his head pounding. Though that could be the bump on the head. Either way. Not happening now.

A soft beep came from his laptop. Climbing out of the pilot's chair, he sat down at his computer cross legged. It’s search of the area was done. Four planets with life on them, none with technology.

Pidge sighed, attention turning to Shiro. Still in full burrito mode, wrapped up nice and safe. He hadn’t so much as moved since leaving the cold planet behind.

His heart rate and breathing were much the same. That was good right? Pidge had no idea and it was driving him up a wall. Give him anything, a complex math problem, a program to write, any kind of robotics or tech and he was your man. But people, the human body. He was useless and it was terrifying.

All he could do was keep going and hope to find help soon. Climbing back into the pilot's chair, he set off into the vast dark void that lay before him and watched as the universe flew by.

Radar onscreen keeping him updated, he leaned back. It was going to be a long hour. A really long hour. 

See the thing you need to know about space travel is; it’s horrible and not just in the bored out of your fucking mind way, it was horrible because it gave you way too much time to think-about everything. And I mean everything.

Like that time he’d fumbled through trying to talk to the smartest, only second to himself, kid in his class, only to put his foot in his mouth and make fool out of himself. The embarrassment stung like it was yesterday. 

Or the hurt look on Hunk’s face, the many times Pidge had turned him and Lance down to go do something. He’d never cared for them one way or another. They were loud, wouldn’t leave him to his work and he was only there temporarily so why bother trying to make friends anyway.

Now so much had happened and Pidge didn’t know how he felt about it all. They were teammates. Paladins. At the start he’d felt like an outsider. Only there for a time before he had to go find his father and brother and even after deciding to stay and help. He wanted to be excited, but it sat wrong at the bottom of his stomach. Like it was all a lie he’d forgotten to tell himself.

Montage after montage of failures replayed themselves in his mind. Pidge sinking deeper into his seat wishing he were anywhere but here. Glancing down at the clock, he was thankful to see it was time to drop out of warp again, a nice change from the mental barrage.

Dropping out of warp, space came into view again, a beautiful purple and gold belt of stars lit his view. The weight on his chest didn’t seem so heavy at the sight of it, a smile creeping across his face.

“Hey, beautiful.”

The search of the surrounding areas would take time and Lion needed down time before it could take another jump. Yawning, Pidge got up and stretched forgetting about his tender side, he flinched when it gave him a sharp jolt of pain. It hurt but he wasn’t going to use medical supplies on it, Shiro needed them more.

Making his way over the Shiro in the small space he checked his vitals for the hundredth time, the readouts on his arm showing his temperature had gone up a tiny bit but it was nothing to worry about. The cockpit had become warm having run for an extended amount of time.

It was going on 3 hours and 40 minutes that Shiro’d been out. His face was pale, breathing still shallow. The waiting was making Pidge more nervous than he’d ever admit.

Grabbing Shiro’s bag, Pidge threw all the hard objects in it out before zipping it back up and set it near Shiro’s knee. It would have to do for a pillow, better than nothing. Curling up next to Shiro, Pidge watched his sleeping face.

It was weird seeing Shiro in the flesh, still, they’d only met in passing two times before this. Once when his brother was in training for the Kerberos mission; they’d crossed path only briefly at the outdoor track field.

Matt had yelled across the field “Hey! Shirogane! This is my little sister Katie. She’s wicked smart! You’d better up your game or she’s taking your place!”

“Matt!?” She’d blushed against her will at the flattery, giving Matt a playful smack on the back of the head.

Shiro at this point all too familiar with Matt’s sense of humor, unfazed by it, yelled back across the field “Nice to meet you, Katie!” and waved not missing a beat on his lap around the track.

The memory made Pidge smile.

The second time they’d met was on the day of the Kerberos mission launch. It also marked the last time she saw her brother and dad in person. It was early morning. The air was alive with excitement, all the preparations had been done, Matt and her father were outside one last time before they were called in to suit up.

Her father snapped a photo of her and her brother, and in the excitement of it all forgetting to get a shot of all of them together, she, he, Pidge still thinks about it. Holding the photo from that day trying to remember her father’s smiling face. Chest tight, familiar anger and regret raising fast.

Distantly she remembers Shiro being outside that day too, with his family. She remembers most how Shiro’s mother had fussed over him. Not wanting to let go of him and making sure he knew how much she loved him, how proud of him she was.

When the call had come last hugs lingered, she could almost still remember how it felt. Warm, safe back when everything made more or less sense in the world she never quite understood or understood her. Her brother and dad all smiles walked away with one last wave, her brother had a skip in his step. What a dork. Though she couldn’t blame him, it was his dream, her father’s dream.

Eyes drifting from them, they landed on Shiro, he turned too and they made eye contact. There was no magical connection, no meaning behind it. Accidental and awkward eye contact at best. Despite Shiro’s height he looked small, with ship that would carry the Kerberos team away looming in the background him. He also looked strangely young in the memory, innocent and excited for the future not like the Shiro she met again a year later, face hardened and brows scowled.

Okay, maybe the eye contact did linger longer than she’d remembered or perhaps the importance of finding Shiro and what that could mean for finding her brother and father added new layers that weren’t there before. Whatever it was Pidge didn’t like how it sit heavy on his chest. 

In the darkened cabin of the cockpit Shiro’s soft breathing lulled Pidge to sleep his eyes getting heavy.

It was idiotic how easily Pidge had let Shiro in. How easily he’d told Shiro everything and fallen apart. How easy the trust came. How easily the crushing weight on his chest was eased just having Shiro near.

Life had not prepared Pidge for this. Not that the excessive amount of time he spent with machines and building robots gave him much to go on when traversing complex emotions, attachments and friendship. Pidge couldn't help favoring the company of machines. He understood machines. They understood him. There wasn’t any mess. Machines were logical. Everything had a reason. If something broke it could be fixed or replaced. It was easy and people weren’t.

Taking one last heavy breath before slipping into sleep Pidge stored it all away. Cocking it all up to Shiro being Pidge’s only connection to her brother and father. And exhaustion. 

An hour later, which felt like mere seconds, passed when a soft beeping sound echoed in the cabin, rousing Pidge back to the waking world. Yawning and cursing he pushed himself up, wincing at his still tender side. Touching his lower chest, he couldn’t tell a damn thing through his armor but he wasn’t dead so everything must be fine. He’d just have to lay off backflips for a while.

The beeping continued, annoyed Pidge got up. At his laptop, it showed the seach of the area was still in progress.

“What?!” Where was the beeping coming from. Pidge stood up straight puzzled and suddenly the whole world shifted becoming crystal clear; the beeping was coming from his armor. Cusing Pidge brought his arm quickly into view, where Shiro’s vitals were displayed, his temperature flashed red at a dangerous 103.4.

“Fuck!” running over Pidge nearly fell face first into Shiro. Half toppled over him, Pidge rested his hand gently on Shiro’s forehead and sure enough he was burning up. “REally?! Really? Come on Shiro don’t do this to me. I don’t know what to do. Fuck.” Pidge spun around like there was going to be someone there to help him if he just looked.

“Okay. Okay. Think. I have to cool him down. Water!” Pidge dashed over to the hatch he’d thrown their small water supply into before leaving the ice planet. And you sure as hell bet Pidge wishes he was still on that cold ass planet now.

The water supply was laughable at best. And using it to cool Shiro down was a huge waste of water. Between trying to give Shiro some to drink every hour and needing water himself they only had 3 bottles left of the 4.

“Fuck it.” Pidge grabbed a water bottle and unzipped Shiro’s bag finding a small towel inside, he carefully soaked it with some of the water and set it gently on Shiro’s forehead. Shiro’s brow was frowned, breathing labored. Pidge dabbed the cool cloth on Shiro’s cheeks and face. It was doing jack shit. Even if he poured all three bottles of water on him it couldn't get his temperature down enough and Shiro needed to stay hydrated more so than ever now. Cooling the cloth again he set it on Shiro’s forehead.

“Hang tight buddy, the temperature is about to drop.” Jumping into the pilot's chair, he opened menu after menu, trying to find what he needed, frustrated it was all in Alltaen “Oh come on! How do I make it cold in here?” like Lion had answered his question the menu he needed popped up on screen. Sliding it as far down as he could he saw the numbers drop.

“Now for water.” grabbing his computer he scanned through the search of the area so far. “Bingo!” A planet with water on it!

Strapping into the pilot's chair quickly, in a matter of seconds the Green Lion had them in orbit of the planet. The search had shown no known threats so Pidge took them down. Through a far amount of cloud cover. The planet below was green, lush, with no trees in the immediate area which was good because it gave Pidge a large area of visibility but bad because it put them in plain sight. Whatever. It was perfect.

Setting down near a stream flowing through the open grassland, Pidge forgot about Green Lions left rear leg being damaged, causing a less than graceful landing. Lucky no one was around to see it.

Pidge laughed and saw his breath. The temperature inside had hit the 50s. His suit started to compensate for the cold to warm him, knowing it would drain the life to quickly Pidge turned it off. The insulation alone would have to be enough. 

Unstrapping himself, Pidge returned to Shiro’s side. The readout on his arm showing his temperature had gone up by point one percent. Cloth removed from his head Pidge put the water bottle to his lips carefully making sure he drank a bit at a time.

Wetting the cloth again he applied it to Shiro’s forehead again. His brow still frowned in discomfort. 

Drinking what was left in the bottle himself, Pidge grabbed the other empty one and headed for the airlock.

The outside temperature was in the low 60s and the grassland reminded him of the time his family visited Alaska. Pidge went straight to get water from the stream, it was crystal clear and cold. Filling the bottles. He didn’t so much as stopped to take in the sights before heading right back to Green Lion.

From there it was just a waiting game. Pidge continued to change the cool cloth on Shiro’s forehead, trying to get him to drink and returning to the stream from more water.

Time dragged on and Shiro’s fever hit 105. Sitting at Shiro’s side, Pidge fidgeted trying to decide if staying was worth the water supply, when for all he knew help could be a few jumps away.

If they stayed and Shiro’s fever didn’t break soon, it could cause him serious physical and mental damage. If it didn’t kill him. Leaving would put an end to their water supply until they could come across more. In the likely event that they didn’t come across water or help in a few jumps it could put Shiro in even worse a place.

“UGGG!” Pidge threw himself back in utter frustration. Sprawling out on the floor, Pidge stared at the sealing. “You know this silent treatment thing is getting real old.” turning onto his side, he curled up, eyes scanning Shiro’s pale face and flushed cheeks.

Taking a deep breath Pidge sighed.

“The last time I spoke with my mom we fought.” Silence filled the air for a moment before he continued. “She wanted me to come home, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t. I had to find out what happened to my father and brother. I needed to know. If they were dead, they were dead but I had to see for myself. I couldn’t go home not knowing. She couldn’t understand that.”

Pidge took off his glasses. “I was so mad.. I yelled and I said-” Pidge coughed on the word, not wanting to repeat it. “I said some things wish I could take back.”

“The funny thing is I was considering giving up too. But I knew I was onto something with the signals… but if I hadn’t… if I’d been wrong...” Pidge fidgeted with his glasses for something to do, remembering that night on the school roof. ”I’d been away long enough. My mom, she’d already lost my dad and brother and now I’d left her. I was going to pack a bag and be gone by first light. No one would know what happened to Pidge Gunderson.”

A small lopsided smile crossed his face ”Then the sky opened and you fell out of it. Like the universe for once was on my side. And the answers to every question that kept me up at night, stomach in knots were so close!” he paused.

“And now I’m on the other side of the universe. Farther from answers than I ever was, I’ve lost them all, and I can’t even phone my mom to tell her I’m sorry.” Pidge laughed “I was never good with people. This is just perfect if you think about it.”

Pidge rubbed his eyes, feeling exhaustion setting in again.

“I think she knows you’re sorry.” Shiro’s voice was quiet and raspy from sleep and disuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pidge refers to himself as 'she/her' in flash backs because that's how he saw himself then. This may change going forward, still undecided on that front.
> 
> Thanks for all your super nice comments without them this would have stayed a one shot for sure. And a huge thanks to Schaudwen for proof reading for me. ♥


	4. Chapter 4

“You think?” Pidge sighed, tone in his voice wishing what Shiro said was true.

Shiro could see the gears in Pidge’s head working out something, what Shiro didn’t know, but he was caught off guard when Pidge suddenly shot straight up.

“Shiro! You’re awake!!” Pidge all but threw himself at Shiro, who made a small pained noise on impact.

Small arms wrapped around him, Shiro was surprised by the greeting and how happy and relieved Pidge was to see him awake. He didn’t know what he’d done to warrant such a reaction from Pidge but the small Paladins weight against him though slightly painful resting on his ribs was anything but unwelcome. He returned the embrace, finding he couldn’t move his arm far ending up only being able to rest his hand on Pidge’s lower back. 

“Can’t get rid of me that easy.” he tired for easy going, but his voice was tired and rough from disuse, causing him to cough, the action hurt his ribs, and a sharp intake of air from him had Pidge jumping back. Shiro found himself missing the comfort of being so close to someone almost instantly.

“Oh my god! Your ribs! I’m so sorry! Did I hurt you?” Pidge was waving his hands around like he wasn’t sure what to do with them, then dashed off to one of the storage hatches looking desperately for something.

“I’m fine, Pidge.” Shiro tried to play it off, because he was feeling surprisingly fine in comparison to how he’d been, his arm, or lack of didn’t hurt like it used to, the searing pain of ripped muscles, severed wires and flesh was down to a annoying throbbing. His chest was tender still but felt like it was healing fast, probably thanks to whatever experiments the Galra did on him.

Despite this another deep cough had white hot pain gripping his side. Breath stuttering he could hear Pidge throwing a few things around. “Pidge.” he breathed trying to get his attention, he was fine, really, he just wanted to calm Pidge down who was acting like he was on his deathbed.

Sliding back over quickly, Medkit in hand, Pidge was talking a mile a minute, Shiro catch a word here or there something about, space being dumb, and wishing he’d gone to med school for the kicks. Fumbling with the Medkit Pidge had the painkillers in hand and at the ready, hands anything but steady, shading around the device.

“Pidge.” Shiro said his name again this time with a little more force behind it, a command, to try and get Pidge’s attention.

“What?!-” Pidge looked up, and froze when his eyes met Shiro’s. Gold trained on black, his eyes jumped nervously, waiting.

“Why am I tied up?”

There was a beat of silence before Pidge’s head cocked to the side “What?” and blinked. “Oh!” startled into action, he drop the medical device back into the Medkit and quickly started to untie Shiro.

“Lions don’t come equipped with passenger seatbelts or passenger seats for that matter…” What was wrong with the Altean’s anyway? I guess they didn’t like backseat drivers or anyone riding shotgun for that matter. “Had to go MacGyver.” Pidge sat back, setting the makeshift rope aside.

Freed, Shiro leaned forward needing to move after sitting in one position for so long, the movement sent pain shooting down his site again drawing a groan from him, and if that wasn’t enough his head was spinning, lightheaded from the tiny move. So many his previous assumption of feeling better might have been premature.

Steadying hands landed on Shiro’s shoulders. “Woah. I don’t know if that's a good idea.”

As much as it wasn’t a good idea Shiro needed to shift his weight more, his butt and back were numb from resting on them so long. His everything hurt but he need a position change if only by a little, it would make all the difference in the world.

Pidge was helpless to stop Shiro from shifting his weight, all of Shiro was just no match for him. Pidge did comply and help Shiro get comfortable again. “There. All better?!” Pidge was annoyed. Shiro wasn’t to sure why. A matter of fact he wasn’t sure of a lot of things, the first of those things why it was so cold inside Green Lion.

“Pidge, is it freezing in here or is it just me?” Senses fucked seven ways to Sunday, he felt like his brain was still coming online, there really was no way of telling if it was just him. He was also suddenly becoming aware of just how hot and cold he was at the same time. The cold part or most of it, was definitely outside of him that much he knew.

A soft laugh, drew him back to Pidge who settled down finally beside him. “Had to get your fever down.” he raised his arm, tapping to bring up a display, he tilted his arm so Shiro could see it “Your temperature spiked at 105 earlier. I was short on options so I dropped the cabin temp. Almost went back in the other direction and thrown your ass into that frozen sea.”

A fever. That explained the hot, cold, and some of the aching all over. The readout on Pidge’s arm showed his fever was at 101, high, but out of the danger zone for now.

“The other direction? Where are we?” Shiro’s voice rasp again when he ask and Pidge was handing him a bottle of water, thankful he accepted the offered drink. Throat appeased for now, 

Shiro looked out the main window, outside the sky was gold and painted with clouds as the sun of this planet hung low. Only sky seen and no snow felling, for all he knew he was still on that planet.

“I don’t know.” Pidge sighed his whole body seemed to decompress, somehow becoming smaller than he already was.

“Somewhere between where we were and Arus. When you lost consciousness, I had to find help or- try. Heading for Arus was the best option and what we'd planned to do anyway. So off we went. Into the big huge endless universe.” Pidge looked out at the sky. 

“Saw a whole lot of nothing out there. You really haven’t missed much and you’ll be happy to know we haven’t run into anyone out for your head.” With how much Shiro’s head hurt they could have it. Pidge gave Shiro a crooked smile trying to lighten the mood, from where he sat arms wrapped around his legs, but it just came out tired.

“How long was I out for?” Shiro asked eyes moving back to Pidge chin resting on his knee.

Pidge squinted his eyes, cute, like he was trying to think hard. “Close to six hours.”

Shiro’s eyes widened. What. He’d been out six hours. That was considerably longer than he’d guessed. His fever must have been much worse than Pidge was letting on.

It was strange because despite how achy and bad he felt, over all he felt considerably better, which was odd to say the least. He was sure Pidge had logged the data away somewhere being the nerd he was. Shiro would have to get a look at it some time, there was no knowing what could be going on with his body since the Galra got there hands on him.

“The fever was only for two of that.” Pidge shrugged like it was just a normal Tuesday, voice void of any emotion and humor. Just the facts.

It sent an awful ping of pain echoing through Shiro’s chest. Where was the brilliant spirit and minded Pidge he was used to. The last few days had been so hard on all of them. Especially Pidge. He didn’t know if he could watch Pidge lose anything else.

How on earth had he become so attached and protective of this odd group of kids so quickly. 

It had all happened so quickly he hadn’t even noticed how much they meant to him until that frozen planet. Exhausted, pain so bright it blinded him, he thought for sure it was the end at long last. Before losing consciousness, he didn’t wish to be saved or anything so selfish, all he wanted, prayed for, was if his death could somehow appease the universe and spare the rest of them anymore pain he’d happily pay the price.

They didn’t deserve any of this.

Pidge was rambling now about how he’d set up a search beacon on the Lions channel to hopefully find the others.

The tone in his voice was nervous, hands twitching as he tried to find something to do with them, Shiro couldn’t help but notice how his fingers kept brushing over the place on his wrist that brought up the vitals display. It tightened something in Shiro’s chest he couldn't find the words for.

It echoed back to the feeling of waking violently on that frozen planet, the universe and Pidge not willing to let him go so easy. His black eyes had met the gold of Pidge’s. Noting for the first time just how bright those eyes were it stirred something uncomfortably inside him. He didn’t deserve this. Didn’t deserve anyone fighting so hard for him. Shamed of his own self loathing was overshadowed by admiration and awe he felt for all that Pidge had done.

He found himself opening his mouth, he had to say something, had to do something before the pressure on his chest decided for him. He wanted to say everything, how grateful he was, how amazing Pidge was, how he didn’t deserve it, but all that came out was a soft “Thank you.”

By the way Pidge’s eyes met his and bugged out of his head Shiro was worried he’d said more than he ears heard. “What?!” gold eyes meeting Shiro’s. Pidge’s face flushed, with something akin to anger and embarrassment “I wasn’t going to let you die!” 

“I know” Shiro chucked. As much as Pidge tired to pretend that the team didn’t mean anything to him at times, they both knew they’d do anything for each other or the team. It was frightening.

“But thank you all the same. I wouldn’t be here without you.” He meant that and hoped that Pidge knew how sincere in the statement he was.

“Yeah. Yeah. Shut up.” by how annoyed Pidge looked by Shiro’s open hearted comment, he knew Pidge got the message.

“I liked you better drugged” Pidge said and threw his legs out infront of him, leaning back, he averted his eyes to the floor. “It’s good to see you conscious for once.” he’d tired for sarcastic but it came out more sincere than he’d intended and his cheeks colored at it. He fidgeted a moment not sure where to go for there before asking if Shiro needed anymore pain meds.

“Yes. No. Not yet. I think that’s what had me fall asleep the in the first place.” as inviting as the offer was he wasn’t ready to sleep again just yet, or ever if it meant leaving Pidge alone again. He knew Pidge could take care of himself but that didn’t change the uneasy feeling in his chest.

Fever down from what it was and decidedly tired of the cold Pidge reluctantly changed the cabin temperature back to something more reasonable. 

Being dinner time enough, or something like that, they decide to eat, Shiro suddenly realizing he was starving. Pidge got the ‘food’ out, giving Shiro an energy bar, he held it a second trying to decide how he was going to open it one armed, before Pidge grabs it and opened it for him. This whole one armed thing is going to be fun.

The energy bar was very Altean, bright blue with spots of even brighter green. Shiro wasn’t so sure about food looking at it, but his stomach had other ideas.

“Just look away and eat.” Pidge supplies, give the energy bar an equally disgusted face.

“Not bad.” Shiro remarked, chewing on his first bite. “The texture’s okay. It kind of reminds me of natto, well, if the flavor wasn’t so,” Shiro made a face. “Okay, I don’t know what that is but it sure beats the green mush.”

Pidge made a long suffering noise, around a mouth full. “Don’t even get me started. Can’t say I ever cared for what I ate as long as I got the calories I needed, but I would kill for anything that isn’t slimy or neon colored right now.”

“I’ll help you kill whoever we have to get in on that food action.”

Pidge smiled, small laugh leaving his lips, and Shiro’s chest did that tight and warm thing again.

“We can shot the body into space. No one will know the wiser.” Shiro added hoping to draw a smile out of Pidge again. 

“Space will know.” Pidge narrowed his eyes, looking around. “Might have to go for the nearest sun. Burn the evidence.”

“Sounds like you’ve thought this through.” Shiro laughed, “Should I be worried?”

“Nah. You’re alright. I won’t be coming for you, and frankly it would be counter intuitive after I kept your ass alive. But if I did,” Pidge tipped the water bottle he was holding in Shiro’s direction, eyes narrowing again “they’ve never find the body.”

“Dually noted.” popping the last of the energy bar in his mouth he picked up the water bottle Pidge had given him earlier. He lifted it, “To murder and better food.”

Pidge gave Shiro a look that could only read ‘are you really fucking doing this’ before lifting his water bottle and they ‘clinked’ them together like wine glasses.

“To murder,” Pidge paused, letting the murder simmer a bit before adding “and better food.” smile on his lips he took a drink, Shiro doing the same. “You’re an idiot.” but Pidge was still smiling and nothing else in the world mattered.

Dinner over, Pidge got up and collected the water bottles to get more water, in the same action Pidge covertly, or not so covertly because Shiro saw, put the other half of his energy bar back with the rest of the food.

Rationing. It made since, they had a long way to go and Pidge was smaller than he was, so he didn’t need as much to eat. Either way it was smart. But Shiro didn’t like it one bit. Saying something would be useless, because Pidge would just out logic him and he’d just feel bad for bring it up.

“I’ll come.” Shiro tired to get up to follow Pidge, he wanted to see what the planet looked like, and his ribs really weren’t bother him much anymore but Pidge stopped him with one pointed ‘don’t you fucking move’ look that shrank Shiro immediately.

When Pidge got back Shiro thought it might be a good idea if they set off again towards Arus. Nothing wanting to waste time. Pidge didn’t like that idea.

“I don't like that idea.” Pidge crossed his arms. “You’re fever hasn’t even broken. If it comes back, as bad or worse than before you could die out there. I know you’re worried about the others, so am I, but getting yourself killed trying to find them won’t help anyone.”

Shiro really couldn’t disagree with that. Head injury or not Pidge was clearly the only one rationally thinking here.

“You’re right.” Shiro tired to cross his arms but found it didn’t quite have the same effect with only one arm.

They did agree that they’d spend the night and if Shiro’s fever had broken by morning head out.

Evening set in quickly, the sun hanging low in the sky.

Pidge sat cross legged beside Shiro, his fingers typing away quicking for a bit before stopping as he thought about something and started typing again. No doubt working on something important to their survival. 

Shiro had asked earlier if he could help with anything and got a “No.” pretty quickly in response, Pidge looked sad about telling him and admitting to the universe that at the moment Shiro was useless to this problem. Shiro didn’t mind so much it was better than getting a pity job. 

With little else to do Shiro found himself watching Pidge. In a totally not creepy way. There was literally nothing for him to do. Give the guy a break, he’d had a hard ~~day~~ year. 

Pidge’s eyes flicked across the computer screen as he worked, light colored lashes, fluttering.  
Ever notice how some people just had eyes that didn’t make sense with how pretty they were? Shiro was finding Pidge’s eyes were gorgeous. Which was a totally normal observation to make.

Pidge stopped a moment to rubbed his eyes before going back to his work, and Shiro noticed something he hadn’t until that moment and felt like the worst human in the known universe.

Pidge had dark circles under his eyes. A matter a fact Pidge looked exhausted. Even his hair was laying low. What kind of leader was he, he’d never once asked how Pidge was. He didn't know how long Pidge had been out there alone, before he saved his sorry ass on that frozen planet. Didn’t know when Pidge last slept. And Pidge had been working hard to keep him alive and find the others.

Fever brain or not, he felt like and probably was a useless ass but oh so proud of Pidge. That tight warm feeling that’d been sitting in his chest returned. He’d been alone for so long he’d forgotten what it felt like to be part of a team. It was so easy to forget, he wasn’t alone now. He hoped he’d live long enough to make it up to Pidge. Find Matt and Dr. Holt. His new friends. Right the wrongs he’d done.

Oh, if he’d only be so lucky.

Before he knew what he was doing he’d reach out and brushed Pidge’s bangs out of his face. How he could work with them in his face and vision was beyond Shiro. Fingers ghosting over soft skin, the bandage on Pidge’s head kept Shiro from tucking the unruly bangs out of his face. 

Fussing with them a moment longer to keep them from falling back in place he touched soft skin again, Shiro couldn’t help the small smile on his face, he was so lucky to have found a team, friends- eyes drifting back to Pidge the air left his lungs. Pidge was looking right at him, eyes wide, cheeks flushed clear to his ears. It was-oh.

Oh.

Shiro’s heart rate might have skipped a little. Okay it definitely did. A small warning chime from Pidge’s arm alerting them both of the sudden spike of his heart rate.

“We should change the bandage.” Shior make his escape, touching said bandaged wrapped around Pidge’s head.

The blush on his cheeks could be anything, tiredness, fatigue, a natural response to an intimate and inappropriate touch. Oh god. His brain was a mess, in every way. Memories still fuzzy and now layered heavy with fog from his fever he couldn’t trust this- whatever this was. No. No. Pidge wasn’t blushing because of him. Not to mention it was a bad bad idea, no matter how you looked at it. They were teammates, Pidge was younger, like a lot, he’d worked with her-his brother and father. Well, I mean he’d already met the family. That saved some trouble-stop-why was he still thinking about this. Shiro no.

“Oh, right. Kind of forgot about that.” eyes darting away, the flush on his cheeks still high as he set his computer aside.

Getting the Medkit, there wasn’t much in the way of bandages left. It hadn’t been fully stocked from the start. Shiro was really going to have to have a talk with Allura and Coran about having proper Medical kits on hand.

Pidge made a little bit of a face pulling the bandage away, it had been on to long, stuck on a bit by blood and what have you.

“How’s it look?” Pidge asked, pulling his hair back carefully not to disturb the area anymore than they had to. 

It looked worse than it was, crusty blood around the edges and on Pidge’s forehead and in his hair. Shiro reached out, careful not to touch skin again, he parting the hair around the cut, it was soft still, not fully scabbed over, no redness on the skin around it though. The medigel had done a good job. 

“Looks really good. I’d suggest no bandage tonight so it can dry out, maybe rewrap it in the morning.” Shiro pulled his hand back maybe a bit to quickly, then wasn’t sure what to do with it, he just kind of put it on his lap, the sensation of soft hair and skin still lingering on his fingertips, he tried not to ball up his hand. 

“Sounds good to me. Not everyone can pull off Hunk’s look.” whatever humor Pidge had intended to have in the comment never made it to his voice, just coming out tired. The mood of the room taking a sudden sobering shift, a welcome relief to whatever tension was in the air.

What on earth were they even doing. This wasn’t the time or the place of this shit.

Pidge took his glasses off, and rubbed his eyes again. Sighing, he looked so done with everything. The day. Space. Robot cat bullshit. “Those idiots better not be doing anything stupid. I don’t have the time to save you all.” 

“Oh, I don’t believe that for one minute.” Shiro cast Pidge a smile to try and lessen the frown on his face, to little effect.

“Yeah. They’re probably being chased by aliens or getting sucked into a blackhole. Call me in the morning, my hero-ing hours are over.”

“True. Trouble does seem to follow us around, but I meant you saving us. You’ve done it before and I’m sure it won't be the last.”

“Yeah, yeah. It was a group effort.” Pidge rolled his eyes, and Shiro could have sworn he saw blush rise on Pidge’s cheeks again. He shouldn’t, but knowing he was the cause of it made him feel-good? Good, wasn’t the right word. It was something, he just wasn’t sure what.

Outside the sun had set, just a glow of light still hung on the horizon. The sky deep blue as stars faded into view. Pidge yawned which prompted one in return from Shiro.

“Made you yawn.” Pidge tried but couldn’t make it through the comment before yawning again.

Shiro’d had enough of sleeping sitting up, Pidge protested any kind of Shiro moving period but Shiro reassured him that he was feeling much better. Which did not spare him a sceptical as fuck look from Pidge. Cause what the hell dude you were almost dead hours ago. It was true Shiro’s breathing sounded improved, but they still had no idea how his ribs were. Moving now could undo any healing, making it worse.

Reluctantly Pidge agreed after Shiro’s best sad ‘please I want to lay down’ look, which was very very hard to argue with, with that face and the hair and the eyes. Pidge was really getting tired of his perfect fucking face.

Bed roll turned, the Medkit was put under one end to act as a pillow. Better than nothing.

Pidge looked for any sign of pain to stop Shiro when he laid down, not that he was sure what he’d do. Discomfort played across Shiro’s features but no pain really. He was either doing a great job at not showing it hurt or he was healing at record speeds. 

Laying down at last Shiro let out a sigh of relief that was almost moan of pleasure worthy, apparently being horizontal was the best feeling on earth, or space.

Though Shiro didn’t seem like he was in pain Pidge gave him a small amount of painkiller to ease any discomfort and help him sleep. By the way his eyes fluttered close and breathing already evening out, Pidge doubted he needed it but it couldn’t hurt.

Shiro could hear Pidge moving around, typing on his computer, probably setting it up to run a search while they slept.

Lowering the lights, the stars outside were more beautiful than ever, they cast soft light inside the now quiet cabin. 

Shiro cracked an eye open when he hear Pidge near by again, he had Shiro’s old bag again he set it down a few feet from Shiro intending to sleep on the floor.

“Hey, come here.” Shiro pat the bed roll. “There's room enough. No since in you sleeping on the floor.”

Shiro scoot over pressing against the wall of the cabin. There was barely enough room for Shiro let alone another person, but Pidge was small.

“You sure. Your arm” Pidge wasn’t convinced.

Shiro pressed his severed arm to Green’s hall. It didn’t look pleasant.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore. Come on.” Shiro pat the space again. Pidge had been camping enough in his lifetime to know a camping roll was not a good substitute for a bed… but it was looking way to good to pass up when his other option was the floor.

Reluctantly Pidge got up, setting his glasses aside, Shiro lifted the thermal blanket and Pidge got in beside him, settling in he rested his head on Shiro’s good arm and threw one of his own over Shiro’s chest like it was most normal thing in the world to do.

It was a bit awkward sleeping in their armor. Shiro couldn’t get out of his yet, well more like Pidge wouldn’t let him and Pidge refused to remove his needing to be ready in case something were to happen.

Resting comfortably pressed together, their breathing evened out. Shiro’s hand leisurely stroked Pidge’s side. He couldn't work out what possessed him to do it. It just felt right. What else were you suppose to do when you were so close to someone like that? The action quickly had been both drifting off, the comforting motion on Pidge’s back, and the feel of Pidge under his hand.

Heavy on the edge of sleep Pidge suddenly realized he was spooning Shiro. Sleeping with Shiro. Eyes popping open expecting his body to follow through with a freakout or something, but it didn’t come the fact was he wasn’t freaking out. It was nice. Perfect even.

Pidge had worked out very early on that he was asexual. Having skipped a few grades her classmates had gone on and on about how that would change when she got older and puberty hit, etc. Well puberty hit and she didn’t feel any different. Boys, girls, no thanks. She was more interested in robotics.

That wasn’t to say teenage hormones racing through her weren’t telling her to jump on the nearest willing body. That was there. Oh god was it. But it came and went. An annoyance that could be ignored, and desire that wasn’t fulfilling when acted on.

Curled into Shiro’s side, a strong arm around him. He didn’t know what he’d expected to happen. He didn’t desire Shiro not in the normal meaning of the word. It was a desire to be close, an illogical sense of safety, and the feeling that he’d do anything if it meant Shiro make it out of this alive. It was terrifying. 

If this was what love felt Pidge was positive he didn’t want anything to do with it. Not that the universe had given them much choice lately and really it only seemed right that something like this would happen. Falling for someone you barely knew and had no chance with was just what Pidge needed right now.

A slightly hysterical and amused laugh at himself and the universe escapes Pidge’s lips. How did this happen.

“What’s so funny?” Shiro asked, voice rough, heavy with sleep. It did funny things to Pidge’s chest and he hated it.

“You make a horrible pillow.” curling closer to Shiro’s side, the gentle weight of his arm flooded Pidge’s chest with a warm feeling that make it feel like everything was going to be alright.

“Go to sleep.” smiling Shiro’s reply was quiet and affectionate as he slipped to sleep. 

 

Shiro’s dreams were full of blurry memories, that twisted into nightmarish shapes. He jolted awake in the middle of the night, heart racing and sweaty. His fever making it feel like he was on fire, a familiar burning from his broken memories.

The arm Pidge had pressed to his chest was beeping softly in the space, set off by Shiro’s racing heart. He reached around Pidge silencing the sounds on the display. The last thing he wanted to do was wake him. Pidge had dealt with enough. He deserved a good night's sleep.

Heart still jumping, Shiro closed his eyes and tried to find anything to distract and calm himself. Pidge’s soft breathing beside him caught his attention, turning slightly into Pidge, Shiro tired to match his breathing and heart rate to his own. Sleep didn’t return easy as violent images danced behind his eyes, but it did come.

 

Pidge was the first to wake in the morning or what Pidge could guess as morning not knowing the planet's rotation.

Still curled close to Shiro, the intimacy was alarming in how Pidge didn’t find it alarming. He’d thought for sure once rested all those flowery feelings from the night before would be over written by logic. Yet, it just felt normal to be so close to Shiro. He was such an idiot. There was no way this would end wall, yet that dumb feeling in his chest had him feeling hopeful, good, as crazy as that sounded.

Carefully not to disturb Shiro, Pidge collecting his glasses he head for the airlock. His computer blinked softly in the background with search results of the area waiting for him.

Outside the clouds hung low and gray. Stopping a moment Pidge took in the scenery of the planet at last. It was so much like earth. It was hard to believe they were light years away. It could have just been another gloomy cloud covered day back on home. Though the thought made him homesick, it was nice to have the familiar scenery.

Walking down to the stream, Pidge washed his face, clearing away crusted blood and grime. With a good night's sleep, if he could just get a hot shower he’d almost feel human again.

Sitting down a moment he watched the wind toss around the fine grass scatting the open plain. Eyes drawn to the sky, it looked like it might rain soon. Pidge loved the rain but suspected they’d be back on track for Arus before then. 

Collecting himself, he started back to Green, not quite ready to face Shiro or whatever the universe had in store for them but quickly getting there.

Stepping through the airlock, Pidge thrown the towel down he used to dry his face, turning, Shiro was up.

“Oh, good you’re up. You’re fever must have broke last night.”

Pidge lifted his arm to see where his temperature was at now. Tapping the display to bring it up. The damn thing must be broken. It showed Shiro’s heart rate was even, eerily so, and his temperature was flashing red at an insane 108.5 and raising by the second. If he could go one day without Altean tech breaking that would be awesome.

“I think this thing is broken.” Pidge frowned at his arm, tapping it again. Looking up Shiro hadn’t moved an inch, for that matter Pidge wasn’t sure what he was doing, was just standing very still head down.

“Shiro, are you okay?”

Why was the floor panel at Shiro’s feet removed.

Pidge took a step forward and regretted it the second he had when Shiro turned quicker than Pidge could react, Shiro’s fist connected with the side of his head and sent him flying into the cabin wall.

Breathless and head ringing from the impact, Pidge nearly didn’t get his bearings in time before the second blow came down, rolling he just avoided it. Shiro’s human fist leaving a dent in the hard metal of the Lion’s hull.

“Shiro!! What the hell! It’s me Pidge!”

Was he sleepwalking? Pidge quickly got to his feet in a low fighting stance, just in time for to dodge the next attack, so close he felt it pass by him. He spotted something in Shiro’s hand.

Shiro quickly rounded on Pidge coming back to hit him with his elbow. Pidge dropped to the ground grabbing Shiro’s arm as it came, using it as leverage he kicked Shiro’s legs out from under him. They both hit the ground with a thud.

Rolling away, dizzy and still trying to catch his breath from the first hit, Pidge’s vision blurred from the quick movement.

What was going on. 

Shiro didn’t stay down, getting up like he hadn’t taken a hit at all. Pidge then got a better look at what Shiro was holding. A crystal, part of the Green Lions power crystal. What on earth was he doing with that?

Pidge’s questions were answered in the horrible seconds that followed when Shiro brought the crystal to his severed arm, purple sparks shooting in all directions lighting the dark cockpit, Shiro’s eyes were the same bright angry purple. Crap. The fucking Galra.

“Shiro! Stop!” Pidge yelled, knowing it was useless. Whatever had taken his mind, it was to late, he was to far gone to hear reason.

Activating his bayard, Pidge lunged forward. He had to get the crystal away from Shiro and now. Striking Shiro’s hand with his bayard, Pidge landed a kick to the back of his leg at the same time. Shiro folded back with the strike. Hand sizzling from the hit of the bayard, the crystal flying from his grasp.

Leaping after the crystal Shiro caught Pidge by the arm before he could reach it and easily tossed Pidge’s small body aside where he hit the airlock door, losing his glasses they broke when he fall. Fuck. Head ringing and his vision blackening at the corners, he swore under his breath. He faintly recalled blood trailing down his forehead before a burst of purple filled his field of vision.

The outline of Shiro came into view against the dark sky outside, the crystal gone, his right arm reconstructed as pure energy. Glowing bright purple, it lit the space, energy cracking loud in the air.

“Shit.”

Grabbing his helmet by the door Pidge ran through the airlock, he closed it behind him and smashed his bayard into the control panel. Doing the same with the outside airlock, he could already hear Shiro ripping through innermost door.

Putting his helmet on in a hurry, the visor came to life clearing his bury vision. Heart hammering in his chest. He didn't get more than four steps back before the outside door creaked under the pressure of being forced open.

Stumbling back, he frantically looked around for any kind of cover, high ground, anything. Pidge cursed. Right, he’s in the middle of a open fucking field. Perfect.

The outside airlock came off its hinges with a horrible sound of metal breaking, the sound thankfully giving Pidge just enough time to throw himself out of the way, avoiding being crushed by inches when the door flew past him. 

“Oh god.”

Pidge didn’t have time to reflect on the near death experience because another one was coming his way. Advancing fast Shiro was on Pidge in seconds grabbing him around the neck with his human hand.

“Fuck." struggling the grip around his neck was to tight "Shiro, don’t do this! Fight it!” words mangled by the tight grip on his neck tears filled Pidge's eyes desperate for air.

Glowing bright hot Shiro’s right arm drew back to strike.

Grabbing the arm around his neck, Pidge pulled his legs up, he was going to kick Shiro as hard as he could square in the chest, but couldn’t do it. It would break ribs for sure, if they weren’t already broken. It could possibly take Shiro down, maybe slow him, but it also could mean Shiro bleeding out and drowning on his own blood. He couldn’t save his own life if that meant the cost of Shiro’s. So instead Pidge planted his feet on Shiro’s chest and pushed, flipping himself over Shiro’s head. 

The sudden move caused his grip to weaken freeing Pidge, who fell unready and unable to keep himself from ending up in heap on the damp ground. Curling in on himself, pain shot through his chest. Damn. Whatever was wrong with his chest was worse now.

Shiro just did not stop, only stumbling a moment before turning to strike again. Pidge’s bayard had flown out of his hand when he fell. Scrambling for it, Pidge kicked Shiro in the face when he came down for another attack. His glowing hand hit the wet ground with a sizzle, water steaming up from the heat.

Somewhere in the middle of all this it had started raining, because of course it would start raining. 

Ground wet Pidge slipped trying to get to his bayard. Inches away. His fingers closed around the handle the moment Shiro’s tight grip closed around his ankle, Pidge was yanked back and that damn glowing arm was coming down on him again. Using his bayard he struck the glowing arm disrupting it. It flashed wildly, kicking Shiro back. Energy snapping loud in the air, the impact almost knocked the bayard from Pidge’s hand as it threw him back to.

That was to close.

Vision wavering, blood dripping in his eye, chest screaming, Pidge couldn’t keep this up. He needed a plan. He was barely staying alive with each assault and Shiro was showing no signs of fatigue or injury. In a desperate attempt to put space between them, Pidge ran. Water splashing underfoot and rain sliding down his visor.

Shiro’s arm flashing violently before flickering back into shape. His head turned unnaturally in its precision, purple eyes locking in on Pidge’s retreating back. In a matter of steps he’d almost taken all the ground Pidge had tried to put between them.

Pidge didn’t have to look back to know Shrio was hot on his heels.

What was he going to do. There was no place to trap Shiro until Pidge could figure out what happened. He had to snap Shiro out of this. Knock him out. Something. Or he was dead.

Whatever it was Pidge didn’t have time. Energy crack behind his head, he threw himself in the opposite direction he thought that attack was coming from, knowing he couldn’t avoid it but it would soften the blow.

Sure enough, the blow came, Pidge saw stars as he went down, rolling his body stopped a few feet away. Rain pouring down, the back of his helmet sizzling from the attack. His visor flicker once before the helmet powered down, now useless to help him see, the world was blurry when he opened his eyes. Ripping off the ruined helmet he threw it as hard as he could at Shiro, who deflected it like it was nothing. Fucking great.

His suit was low on power. Which meant he didn’t have enough power left to electrocute Shiro and hopefully knock him out. Which left Pidge with only had one option and he didn’t like it.

Oh boy. This was going to be fun.

“Tahaski-” laying in the mud Pidge was surprised when Shiro’s first name slip from his lips, voice barely audible above the rain and sound of water boiling as it hit Shiro’s glowing arm. Steam rising off of it like smoke. “Shiro-Please, don’t do this. You’re not the monster they wanted to make you.” pleading Pidge raised a shaking hand. 

Unbothered by Pidge’s plea, Shiro’s glowing purple arm drew back aimed at Pidge’s chest and came down for the kill.

Quickly Pidge drew his leg back and kicked Shiro’s thigh just in time to thrown his aim off but it wasn’t enough. Burning bright hot Shiro’s hand cut through the side of Pidge’s armor, hitting flesh, a mangled scream was ripped from Pidge’s lungs. Well, that wasn’t part of the plan. 

Eyes screwed tightly shut. Pidge didn’t get any fucking time to reflect on how screwed he was. Forcing his eyes open Shiro was right where he wanted him, if he didn't act now this was all for nothing.

“Thanks.” breath heavy and weak, Pidge smiled. 

Water dripping from Shiro’s face, his eyes locked with Pidge’s.

Question might have flickered behind purple eyes if he’d had the time to think, Pidge grabbed his glowing arm, the next second his bayard connected with Shiro’s chest.

Circuit complete.

The power from his glowing arm raced through Pidge’s armor and into Shiro’s chest, electrocuting him, the force throwing him back. Energy arm exploiting in a burst of purple light. Shiro’s body hitting the ground with a wet thud and went limp.

"That could have gone better." Pidge must have laughed, out of sheer relief, that it worked and didn’t electrocute himself in the process because pain seized his chest. Falling back, he watched Shiro’s body on the ground praying to any god that would listen that Shiro would stay down.

Chest and side burning, his vision darkening at the edges. He could feel himself slipping somewhere dark and heavy.

There was no telling if Shiro would wake himself or at all, Pidge knew that, but there was a chance. Now weather Pidge got to live to see it was another matter entirely. He'd fought so hard to get here and wasn't one to give up so easily but this whole dying thing was looking real nice opposed to how much breathing hurt.

Rain pouring down and ears ringing still, he could have sworn he’d heard someone yelling his name far off, a delusional wish for rescue, before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was two chapters but they didn't want to be so the POV is a bit of a mess as a result.  
> Slow updates on account of my life trying to destroy me, but bless sdcc for news that season 2 will drop later this year or I'd be done. Thanks for all your great comments they've kept this going. P.S. [drew a thing](http://snufffie.tumblr.com/image/147828759185) for this.


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